Twacker

Maybe I will get enough time this year to write some stuff on here... Eh?

Twacker

I'm tired. I work every weekend. And usually 3-4 days during the week. I go to school mon-fri from 8am-7pm. Joe's been working hard, I know.

The fuckin USBANK has screwed us out of almost $700 in the last month because they don't put checks into our account until we have used our debit card... Which makes us overdraw... WTF.

I need something more. I don't know what it is. I need it from Joe, I need it from myself. I need him to hold me more. I want to cry but pride gets in the way. I want to be told that everything is okay. I want someone to be proud of me, and TELL ME, just once. I want people to understand what I'm going through. I want my hair to stop falling out in handfuls every time I brush it. I want to MEAN it when I smile all the time for people. I miss my home in California, I don't miss the people, I miss the land, the trees, the water, the rivers, the smell, the feel, the cold, the hot, and most of all, I miss my Dogs... I miss my cat...

I miss my dogs...

Most of MY animals, here, have died. I'm becoming more and more alone as every day goes by.

I made a friend at school. He got into a plane crash two days later...

Why is this so hard? I thought, hey, I could leave my dogs and friends for a few years... Be happy with a man I love... Work a good job, go to school... and be happy...

I was happy at first, but now, I question it before I fall asleep every night...

He doesn't know but I almost cry myself to sleep every night... He lies next to me, I watch him fall asleep, and start to think of everything... I break down. But I rarely actually CRY...

I want to cry. I want him to know that I cry. I want him to say it's going to be alright.

Damn, that shit sounds bad... "I want, I want, I want, I need, I, I, I, me, me me..."

I'll just shut up..................................................................

Life doesn't matter anymore. It doesn't matter if happiness ever shows its face in my world. I should just grow up, I guess.

Twacker

PICTURES ONLY SHOW THE GOOD TIMES

You're my one, Joseph

The one I adore

The one I need

Everyday, ever-more.

When I moved from afar

So we could be close,

You held me in your arms

Like you loved me the most.

I know I get moody

I know I get sad

I just hope all our good times,

Override the bad.

When puppies shit,

And tires go flat,

I hope you think of our love,

And forget all of that.

Pictures tell about the happy times,

They don't show the struggles of,

Trying to walk through hell,

Until you reach your home above.

The pictures are what we want to remember,

But it's what's not shown,

That we'll never forget,

Because that's life, that's home.

Twacker

What would I say?

~If you lied to me,

What would I say?

Would I yell at you,

Or say it's okay?

~If you said I wasn't the one,

Would I cry,

What would I want to know?

Probably just a "Why."

~If you left me for another,

What would I do?

Would I load my gun,

Or just say, "I'm happy for you."

~I'd say it's okay

I'd only ask why

I'd be happy for you

You'd never see me cry.

Twacker

Forgive me for I am stupid.

Stupid in love.

My heart sings for your love.

It longs for your touch.

It runs into walls to be with you.

Love is stupid.

My love for you is real and,

I will do stupid things,

Because I am in love.

Forgive me for I am stupid.

Forgive me, please, my love.

Perdóneme para soy estúpido.

Estúpido en el amor.

El corazón canta para su amor.

Largo para su toque.

Choca con paredes para estar con usted. Amor es estúpido.

Mi amor para usted es verdadero y,

Haré las cosas estúpidas,

Porque estoy en el amor.

Perdóneme para soy estúpido.

Perdóneme, por favor, mi amor.

Twacker

Tomorrow

.

.

I’d give you tomorrow

But it might never come

So I’ll give you today

To do the undone

Yesterday was but a regret

So make today

One never to forget

Promises I’ll never break

If you let today

Be the day you take

Twacker

I took one big step and looked away

And then I thought about all the things

I wanted to say...

I'm always too late

You never got the story straight

I'm always up late

I think I'm everything

You love to hate...

Twacker

In all of its perplexity
I have concluded
That life does suck
When you're alone

The alone feeling of distress
The silence cannot be broken
Even with a radio or a T.V.
It's like the jukebox, without a token

You still feel loved
And you know you'll have
At least someone to talk to
Someone to have fun with, and laugh

You wait for a call
A text, e-mail
But sometimes and mostly
Work is just like jail

They can't get out yet
They have to stay
They only have one call
It's me! I pray

Oh but when they call
You're over joyed!
You talk real fast
And might even scare the poor boy!

So you calm down
And you take it all in
Remember every word and phrase
Just sit there and Grin...

Twacker

Sex vs. Love

So there’s this thing

Sex it’s called

It’s really fun

With one, not all

Then there’s Love

And the act of making it

It’s something more

There’s just no faking it

Sometimes you think

That you need sex

But really what you need

Is too complex

It’s not just

Getting your nut

That’d be selfish

You’d be a slut

It’s deeper than

A cheap thrill

It honestly takes

No such skill

To make love

With your one and only

Makes up for the times

You’re home alone and lonely

Making love with you

I feel so in love

Can’t you feel it

It’s completely unheard of